Growing up with two brothers, one of which was a twin, I found my solace surrounded by boys. This was my comfort zone, and from what I could tell, wherever girls were, drama always seemed to follow.
You see, I had formed the belief at a tender age, that it was not ok to shine too brightly around other women, in case you threatened them in some way… But all it did was make me insecure too…
Yes, I was backstabbed, there was jealousy, insecurity and betrayal, but there are two sides to every coin. We were young, just trying to belong, find love and our place in this precious world.
We were never taught to embrace sisterhood…
It may seem that actually, the only thing we ever were taught is how to compete against each other — to fear another star instead of basking in its beauty. To feel threatened instead of inspired by the talents of other women and the gifts they have to offer this world.
We can end up looking at our fellow sisters through a lens of fear instead of love…
Maybe this fear was born one time at a party, when that pretty girl walked through the door, and suddenly you felt like a weak nightlight against a backdrop of neon.
But another woman’s beauty is not the absence of our own…
What if we could remember that light can shine in a luminous spectrum of different colours? Beauty is not a scarce resource and there are more ways to be beautiful than there are stars in the galaxy.
Often in an effort to ensure we don’t make other women feel insecure or uncomfortable, we have been conditioned to relate through our trials instead of our triumphs.
We end up bonding over what is wrong instead of what is right with our lives, only sharing the bad, because deep down we don’t want them to feel bad or hate us for having a happy life.
Sadly, this can result in becoming less of ourselves, holding back our truth, and dimming ourselves down for fear of being too bright or too much.
But all this does is surround us with darkness…
Yes, it is important to be there when the going gets tough, but its also equally important to celebrate the highs, have gratitude for the blessings and remind one another of just how incredibly fabulous we all are.
Because I believe we actually see another woman’s beauty quite deeply.
“The connections between and among other women are the most feared, the most problematic, and the most potentially transforming force on the planet.” — Adrienne Rich.
Imagine a world where we could honour, celebrate and bask in the light of another woman’s radiance?
For she is merely holding up a mirror for you to see your own reflection.
When you feel jealous, remind yourself that you don’t want what the other person has, you HAVE what the other person has. Their light reflects your own.
Let her light give you courage.
Let your jealousy turn into admiration.
Let your envy turn into inspiration.
Turn your fear into motivation.
May Cause Miracles — Gabrielle Bernstein.
Always remember to thank her for the mirror.
Fast forward to today and I feel so fortunate to tell you a different story. It took motherhood to bring me to my knees and crack open my heart, but I’m forever grateful it did.
I can now tell you that nothing on earth compares to the fierce and irreplaceable love that exists between women.
Coming from someone who had a rather rocky start, I cannot tell you how much joy and pleasure and SANITY my dearly beloved girlfriends have infused into my life.
Our girlfriends get it…
They will wrap you up in their love when life throws you lemons…
They will wash the vomit off sheets in the middle of the night, while your child lays in your arms with gastro. (Thanks Maria!)
They hold space for you to bare your soul, your vulnerability and your messiest secrets.
They will offer their home, their best box of chocolates or their biggest bottle of vino, just so you can let it all out.
They will laugh with you until you cry, dance with you until your feet ache and reflect back to you your brilliance. They see our potential, even when we have forgotten, and support us in unfolding the greatest vision we have of ourselves.
Did you know that when geese fly in formation, they fly 70% further?
Well, I can tell you, when women come together in love, there’s just no telling how far we can fly.
In our modern world, women balance so many hats on their head. We are privileged to now have freedom, but from what I understand about my nearest and dearest, we’re still learning how to be there for our kids, husbands, families and friends, while carving out our dreams and finding time for our precious pleasure.
Which is why we need support now like never before…
There is more than enough of everything in this world, for us all to have our hearts desires, but it happens a hell of a lot faster when we help each other.
So support a sister in any way that you can.
Surround yourself with women who love it when your light shines brightly, who encourage you to reach for your dreams and will stop at nothing to remind you of just how bloody beautiful you are.
Because when we have the courage to truly shine, we give permission to others…
This is my story… I would love to hear yours.
To your blossoming, Bec x
